Why do u love me so?
I did nothing to deserve it
How can you love me?
I’m so unworthy.
You birthed me out of love
But I this dark world we live its easy to go astray.
You were always there when I needed a friend
But u know in these endz its lame to be seen around with you
So I would do right at home, and try to fit in whichever way possible outside
Can a man hold water and fire in the palm of his hand and all co-exist together?
I repaid your kindness with insults
To your face I told you lies
At your back, I stole from you
I drank with your enemies and denied you times and times over
I remembered u when I was broke, in need of a quick fix
Then dismissed u once I got what I wanted.
I did things that brought u shame,
That got people asking ‘is that really your kid?’
Fitting in was much different than I thought.
So if I did this lil thing extra, then am really in, and we’d be real friends forever.
So for acceptance, I did it. And before I knew it - I did it all.
Having magic fingers became a skill I quickly acquired, seemed like I had winter’s breath all year round.
To be healthy I dealt with products of red grapes till my pocket ran dry then I met Jackie D and we became great friends. My pops always said exercise was necessary to be healthy, I took up … gymnastics, in fact I was an ubber celebrity.
I’d given all of me but it still wasn’t enough.
In me I saw the true meaning of disgrace, I was its definition personified.
I woke up to see u still by my side
In a hospital ward, what was going on?
I had OD’ on some animal pain relievers
And was rushed is as one. Later I checked out as two.
7 months later, just before my 17th still trying to be sober
my baby was born, but I couldn’t look at her face
I gave her up for a better life
Its not a big deal, it was done to me.
My friends were long gone, n I was all alone.
I didn’t want to be saved
I didn’t feel I deserved it.
I was dirty and used, and that was my purpose
So sin was my home, for so many years.
I sold my soul for ever just to get a light
Then I saw you u again,
All these lies I’d believed for so long
That I was born to be low by the circumstance of my birth
When the truth you’d rained on me all these years,
But I shut my own eyes so I couldn’t see
Why you so pure n perfect
Would have any interest in me, I’ll never know
For my soul was never really mine to sell.
And u saved it and saved my life
Now people don’t understand what I mean
To save a life bout taking a bullet,
So let me enlighten u a little.
I was on my way to hell,
The penalty for my sins was death.
There was no avoidance my debt must be paid.
But You! You! You went down to hell in my place
You received my death, by dying on that cross
You shifted the pain I’d caused, the hurt I felt, the harm I’d done and stuffed them in your wounds.
As your blood flowed it erased my sins from heavens record
My past is no longer mine
For when you soaked me in your blood,
I was like to brand new baby
You birthed me this time in to love
And I know am not from this world, so I can’t fit in.
Now I know you know my thoughts,
But just to be clear am gonna say it out loud
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowhooooooooooooooooo!!!
English has not vocabulerised a word great enough to explain my thanks
Your mercy brought me through, your grace kept me safe
So all that I am is yours
I surrender my all.
©SweetestRuby 2009
I did nothing to deserve it
How can you love me?
I’m so unworthy.
You birthed me out of love
But I this dark world we live its easy to go astray.
You were always there when I needed a friend
But u know in these endz its lame to be seen around with you
So I would do right at home, and try to fit in whichever way possible outside
Can a man hold water and fire in the palm of his hand and all co-exist together?
I repaid your kindness with insults
To your face I told you lies
At your back, I stole from you
I drank with your enemies and denied you times and times over
I remembered u when I was broke, in need of a quick fix
Then dismissed u once I got what I wanted.
I did things that brought u shame,
That got people asking ‘is that really your kid?’
Fitting in was much different than I thought.
So if I did this lil thing extra, then am really in, and we’d be real friends forever.
So for acceptance, I did it. And before I knew it - I did it all.
Having magic fingers became a skill I quickly acquired, seemed like I had winter’s breath all year round.
To be healthy I dealt with products of red grapes till my pocket ran dry then I met Jackie D and we became great friends. My pops always said exercise was necessary to be healthy, I took up … gymnastics, in fact I was an ubber celebrity.
I’d given all of me but it still wasn’t enough.
In me I saw the true meaning of disgrace, I was its definition personified.
I woke up to see u still by my side
In a hospital ward, what was going on?
I had OD’ on some animal pain relievers
And was rushed is as one. Later I checked out as two.
7 months later, just before my 17th still trying to be sober
my baby was born, but I couldn’t look at her face
I gave her up for a better life
Its not a big deal, it was done to me.
My friends were long gone, n I was all alone.
I didn’t want to be saved
I didn’t feel I deserved it.
I was dirty and used, and that was my purpose
So sin was my home, for so many years.
I sold my soul for ever just to get a light
Then I saw you u again,
All these lies I’d believed for so long
That I was born to be low by the circumstance of my birth
When the truth you’d rained on me all these years,
But I shut my own eyes so I couldn’t see
Why you so pure n perfect
Would have any interest in me, I’ll never know
For my soul was never really mine to sell.
And u saved it and saved my life
Now people don’t understand what I mean
To save a life bout taking a bullet,
So let me enlighten u a little.
I was on my way to hell,
The penalty for my sins was death.
There was no avoidance my debt must be paid.
But You! You! You went down to hell in my place
You received my death, by dying on that cross
You shifted the pain I’d caused, the hurt I felt, the harm I’d done and stuffed them in your wounds.
As your blood flowed it erased my sins from heavens record
My past is no longer mine
For when you soaked me in your blood,
I was like to brand new baby
You birthed me this time in to love
And I know am not from this world, so I can’t fit in.
Now I know you know my thoughts,
But just to be clear am gonna say it out loud
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowhooooooooooooooooo!!!
English has not vocabulerised a word great enough to explain my thanks
Your mercy brought me through, your grace kept me safe
So all that I am is yours
I surrender my all.
©SweetestRuby 2009
wow ..o the passion of love...
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