Comfort Zone

God of all comfort? ... 2 Corinthians 1..

Comfort? Comfort? Thanks but may I politely decline.

I don’t understand if it’s that you can’t see me.

See that I’m hunting... and I need saving.

 

Ok let me explain just in case you don’t see that

... they hurt me bad and

... they’re making me mad

It’s like they are sucking my soul through a straw

And I thought Pastor said that everything you saw.

I might as well be on death row

‘cause your silence is like a noose

 

I’m looking for the God of Elijah..

To rain down fire on those who defy me

I’m looking for the God of Moses..

To part the rivers of pain that drown me

I’m looking for the God of Ezekiel..

To breath back life into my dry bones

I’m looking for the God of Daniel..

‘Cause the furnace is being prepped and the lions are hungry

I’m looking for the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob & Joseph..

 

To take this cup away from me.

Yes not YOUR will, but MINE be done.

They include:

Give me dancing for my mourning

Exchange my tears of sorrow for joy

Give me peace without anxiety

And Give them to me NOW.

 

Because I ask all these in your name JESUS and I know good things alone are your portion for me. J

 

Finally I hear you speak and you say:

‘My grace is Sufficient  for you, as My strength is made perfect in your weakness...

Contort not my words dear child for I promise to Comfort you in your troubles as you share in My sufferings.

 

For I gave up my only son, flawless without a spot or blemish to be executed for your ungrateful self. That you may be awarded the freedom you neither work for nor deserve. And you may be called joint heirs with Christ.

 

So before you go on preaching to me my word, remember my WORD was born, beaten, bled and died for you and was resurrected so you can have the unrestricted uninterrupted access to chat to me without the fear of being struck down from heaven as in the days of Moses, Elijah & Ezekiel. For I know the end from the beginning, because I am the alpha and omega. And while you were still in sin I gave to die in your place. So like Christ’ undeserved suffering, yours also has a purpose.’

 

Now I embrace my suffering and I boast of my weaknesses for his master plan ... is that my experience makes me qualified to comfort you

 

Copyright Sweetestruby2014

The New Normal

We decided our future

We ordained our fate

We remoulded our mindsets

We adjusted our attitudes

Society was full of contradictions

Impossible idealistic pressures for the benefit of our puppet masters

The money lenders keep us bound in chains impulsive shopping, pay day loans & credit card by making us want to compete with our sisters

The wedding industry is milking brides while divorce attorneys stand by waiting

Food industry pressure us away from natural foods with lies, and health insurance & medical bills isn’t cheap

We aim for the top, and chastised when we get there

No support if you break the normal

Cos the wealthy control what should be normal

They dictate how we should think- targeted marketing

Our lifestyle- celebrity

Whom we should like – network marketing

And encourage envy – social media

 

This isn’t reality, we were enclosed in a cocoon and we don’t realise.

Break away from the zombie mentality,

Reach out and think beyond what you think you are capable of.

Women are constantly torn in several different directions with high expectations and no room for failure

Help a sister on your way. Everyone life path is different; we are all team mates with different functions.

Appreciate your sisters & kill competition.

Let’s make up a New Normal

©sweetestruby2014

We are 100

One hundred years ago this great nation was born. Not by choice, but it was destiny.

Nigeria, Africa’s Giant, filled with diversity in culture, beliefs but unified under our ‘green-white-green’.

United we stand, divided we fall. Giants can be easily seen from afar. Nigeria is on the world’s stage. Together we can rule strong but hate will rot us all from the inside out. The enemy is out there, not within, if we kill our brothers, on the day of real adversity who will fight with and for you? When no one is left, we will be destroyed by a finger flick.

Our diverse tribes are our beauty! It shows of our glory. Everyone of us has value, we need to build each other up. The strongest athlete is one who is completely healthy in every part of their body.

Internal deception, internal ignorance & internal hate are foolishness.

Our diverse beliefs show our ability to accept change.

We are giants on the worlds stage, the world is watching, waiting. They will laugh if we fall, they will cheer if we stand. We can choose to be a light.

It’s said that choices determine the results, and this has been proven in your very life.

Then, we can choose to change our fate. We can choose to stop eating the poison being fed for decades past. We can choose not to cheat for personal gain. We can choose to genuinely offer help to those in need. We can choose to use our influence to build our communities. We can choose to combine forces, manpower to improve our businesses and our future. We can choose to ignore the sound of our neighbour’s last names and see every one as green-white-green. Brothers & sisters with the same goal – to have a better tomorrow. We can choose to make our leaders accountable.

We are ONE people.  We are the same people. We have the same goal. We are green-white-green. We are Nigerians.  We are 100. There is a real enemy and it is not within us.  It’s in the ignorance & poverty killing our people.

 

We must protect our legacy.

We must protect our unity.

We must protect our Name.

#Naijaforever

©SweetestRuby 2014

Unfinished Words

When did this love become mere words?

It’s like am pushing uphill against the forces

My arms are shacking, my being weak

Oh won’t you come carry me

You said you loved me, and I’m quoting words.

You should have said no, am not placing blame

I dunno how much more we both could take,

It seems we’re bursting at the seams.

 

When I was with you, I couldn’t wait to get away

Now I’m away just wish you were close

I hold myself from calling your name

I hold my stare until the moment before you look my way

I dial your number only in my mind

I know this is the way I paved myself

The cards I dealt us both

I don’t know what I expected because you fought for me

But I want more and yet I still want you

There’s nothing now I see I could ever do

Paralysed to make a move

Cos I just can’t tell you how I feel

Like I’m waiting till you’re gone forever

Maybe with wise hair, I’ll tell a tale or two

Shout it Out

I think it’s time for me to SHOUT OUT!!

I’ve been going crazy from all of the lies

I know you couldn’t hear my screams behind my own smile

But I’m here to say I need help and I need you.

 

The way our love turned sour left me in a daze

Because it all happened all too quick, I thought it was a weird game

Our stars burnt out and turned into dust.

No one could have predicted this, not even I

 You had me so gone and I had you. I had your heart.

Now your gentle touches leave me discoloured and bruised,

Your tight embrace makes me literally lose my breath.

An apple they say keeps the doctor away,

You sweep me of my feet twice a day,  hence the doctor I fear is here to stay.

 I come crashing down, as I keep falling for you. 

©SweetestRuby2014

A broken heart has no cure

This poem was written by my talented niece, Anu. It's based on the recent story in the news about the Woman with the mummified baby...

A broken heart has no cure

Six years ago I gave birth to a devil of a son,
He left me with sleepless nights; I’m glad he’s gone,
He screeched and cried in his cot,
I had no choice but to let him rot.

I was just one when she first left me alone,
She taught me neglect is worse than a broken bone,
I called for her, pleaded for her, but she never came,
Left me abandoned, I’ll never be the same.

I had to leave all my friends for a baby boy,
I had to spend some of my money on his silly toy,
I tried my best to love him, I really did,
I figured there's no need to waste my time on a stupid kid.

She said she loved me, did she really care?
When she yanked me up by my chestnut hair,
She fed me hatred and left me shattered,
When she got angry it was me she battered.

I got fed up, his cute act, I definitely wasn’t buying,
So I did what I had to do and left him there dying,
Kammy was his name, I wouldn’t say it if I dared,
He was a mistake, it’s not like I really cared.

She looked at me with disgust; she tossed me in the bin,
When people came she locked me away and said I wasn’t in,
She chewed me up and spat me out like I was stale gum,
Amy was her name the woman that treated me like a scum.

Now I sit here in a cell feeling what he felt,
Abandoned by the world I'm set alight to melt,
I know I was mean; I have a reason for being cruel,
But everybody’s starting to treat me like a fool.

It’s one thing to be abused another to be abandoned,
Every time you hear the lock turn you’re instantly frightened,
I learnt a lesson from this, I certainly am sure,
You see broken bones can heal but a broken heart has no cure.

(c) Sweetest Ruby 2014

How do you know ?

How do i know? I saw the signs...
You know how there's that one person u always want around u,
that you always want to speak to,
that will always has your back.
Breathing in the same air as them makes you giddy,
being around them makes u smile,
holding them makes u feel safe..
And no matter what they do you still think highly of them..

Well that's how I know

Naive

This is us, from your point of view..
Naive is what I was, when I got with you again.
Believing we were the perfect match.
That we completed one another..
Believing that we could go back to the way things were..
I've outgrown such thoughts now.
Whether you admit it or not I'm not the one...
you settled for me..
I'm no longer naive enough to believe that I was your one true love..
Denying there was another..
Denying how you felt..
Denying the actions of the past.
Or should I say, burying it..
That's all part of the process of constructing innocence..
I'll let you decipher the process..
You think I'm insecure.. I tell you I'm not..
I'm comfortable with things however they turn out.
Insecurity isn't something I give much attention to these days..
I'm prepared for the worst..
Not as naive as I was before,
Believing some of the constructed truths you led me to believe.

(C) @adegrace_buko

On my own

By Eponine from Les miserables

This is another song I fell for when I watched the stage play. By the way I love all things musical.

Here are the lyrics:

And now I'm all alone again nowhere to turn, no one to go to
without a home without a friend without a face to say hello to
And now the night is near
Now I can make believe he's here

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head

On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known

I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own

The man I love

By Ella Fitzgerald

So I'm having a jazz filled morning, and decided to go listen to my favourite voices

This one is by the fabulous Ella Fitzgerald :

Someday he'll come along
The man I love
And he'll be big and strong
The man I love
And when he comes my way
I'll do my best to make him stay
He'll look at me and smile
I'll understand
Then in a little while
He'll take my hand
And though it seems absurd
I know we both won't say a word
Maybe I shall meet him Sunday
Maybe Monday, maybe not
Still I'm sure to meet him one day
Maybe Tuesday will be my good news day
He'll build a little home
That's meant for two
From which I'll never roam
Who would, would you
And so all else above
I'm dreaming of the man I love

Acting rich & living broke

Living rich while being broke

Growing up, my parents sacrificed alot to ensure i could secure a good future. my mum, would go without certain luxuries she was rightfully entitled too to ensure that not only did i get a good education but the best education she could afford. This, i remember her saying was her investment. I hear

my friends tell of similar stories.

 

Now am all grown up, and i look around i see a different culture developing. Young people seem more interested in investing satisfying their present wants, wants that constantly change with the seasons. The only investments i hear of are investments in a few good boots, nice bags and weaves that can last a " lifetime"  or until the next big sale, which ever comes first. People are totally consumed by this consumerism culture, of having everything that we can't afford.

 

It's a sad view, when you see a young adult looking fabulous head to toe dressed in the latest designer gear yet unable to afford a decent meal. Its even sadder when you see their peers  living  in secret envy of that persons lifestyle.

 

Has the appearance of fabulousity as I like to call it become more important than saving for a rainy day?

When  did credit become the new debit?

And budgets become the minimum spend?

this viscous cycle not only happens among peer-pressured youths like us, but also with companies aswell, and can be to blame for the credit crunch.

 

I remember when i was broke and job hunting, people constantly encouraged me to make use of my credit card under the banner of it improving my credit limit. Not remebering to advice how i would afford to pay it back with no income, then i heard i could do balance transfers and all sorts. I had to stop and think, is my so called friend actually setting me up for a fall? Why would i spend money i didnt have and had no idea where i would get it from anytime soon? 

 

It seems our generation are prefere to invest in the present appearance, in clothes and things which will end up in bins, charity shops or the back of our wardrobe, living each day for today which no thought for tomorrow.

 

I blame the media, we are constantly made to think that looking fabulous is the only wo way to be.. am not saying we shud be dressed in sack clothes and look dull or unattractive, I do think we shud have the fine things in life aslong as we can afford it.

 

over the years, ive picked up a simple rule that has helped me manage my money effectively, which i am willing to share. 

It's give, save and live!

Firstly, i have 2 accounts, a current and a savings account.

then each month, i give 10% to my church or towards charity/ people less fortunate

i put 30% into my savings account

leaving me 60% to live on for the month.

 

If you dont pay rent, then, your monthly expenses should not exceed 60% each month

If you do pay rent, your rent and bills should not be grerater than 37% of your income. if it is your living above your means. this will live you with 23% for transport and food, anything left can be spent on 'luxury' (assuming you don't have any debts to pay off).

 

If you have dept and intend on paying it of, i will suggest, you save 15% and put 15% plus any 'extra luxury money' towards paying it off.  

 

In life there is a balance,

Let's not let other peoples opinion become our reality. 

Copyright  Sweetest ruby 2013

You were supposed to love me

U were supposed to love me 

Although u never did 

U were supposed to love me

Without any excuse

Now uve come to see what's left

Well u can have all that's left 

There's no way you can fix this

Cos u have no idea what's wrong.

Cos u were supposed to love me and u took the easy way out.

Copyright Sweetest ruby 2013

I Feel..

How do I feel?

Sometimes I don’t know how I feel.

Like the words have not been formed and nothing in the dictionary comes even close

Sometimes I don’t feel high or low.

Like am at the edge or something,

About explode with joy or implode from pain.. but I never know which.

So am still.

What causes us to feel anyway, and why is there so much hype about feelings anyway

We give it to much control

It’s the little button which control our moods and how we behave..

It get all the credit and the blame

The original puppet master, oh but you’d never guess.

They say the truth shall set you free

Its like fresh breeze on a humid day

Cool water after the dessert sun.

See the truth about feelings is that they are unreal

They are made up from a collation of instant decisions we make in our mind

And they can grow and fester within the boundaries we set or fail to

True these thoughts may  be triggered by external conditions, some beyond our control , some as a result of someone elses ‘feelings’

Its up to us the way we allow ourselves to react to our feelings.

Today I thought I felt something a bit like loneliness, although I was in the mist of friends

A string of pity thoughts led to this feeling I couldn't describe, all I know was it sucked my energy, smile and my good posture.

The longer I thought, the worse I felt.

Then I stopped...

Then it stopped.


©SweetestRuby 2013

Let it Shine

John 1 vs 4-7

4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. 6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7 This man came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all through him might believe. (NKJV)

I have always found evangelism a bit of a struggle, especially in these times were we have to be so politically correct. A free evangelism training class helped get things into perspective. I learnt about evangelism tools and how to use them effectively. God has called everyone of His children to evangelise, this is a divine mandate.

John the Baptist evangelised. The bible tells us that he came as the voice crying out in the wilderness. He announced the arrival of Jesus Christ. Jesus is the true light and we must let that light shine. Through reading the bible, I discovered that we must live our lives in such away that our actions however subtle, become evangelism tools. This is not an excuse to shy away from telling people about Jesus, but when we are in environments that do not permit us to talk about our faith, for example, at work, we must let our actions speak louder than our words.

Helen Cadbury, the grand daughter of the founder of Cadbury chocolates, was an evangelist! When I discovered this I chuckled; God has a sense of humour. Can anything good ever come out of chocolates? It took me back to Nathanael's question in John 1; 'can any good thing could come out of Nazareth?'. Thirteen year old Helen Cadbury, like many Christians was a little shy about sharing her faith at first, but she found a way to evangelise and the perfect evangelism tools to use. No it wasn't chocolate... although I bet it came in handy. Her tool was the word of God itself! She started this cool club, where members had to read the bible daily. I believe God gave her the wisdom; people came and read for themselves. It is recorded that at sixteen years of age, she led a police officer to Christ through her enthusiastic sharing approach. How did she go from shy to enthusiastic? She was empowered!

John 1 tells us that Jesus gives us the power to become the sons of God and I believe this was evident in Helen Cadbury's life. This is how she went from being the shy evangelist to the enthusiastic evangelist. Like John the Baptist, we must tell the world about Christ. It is through us that people will see The Light, believe in Him and be saved. We must ask God to reveal to us the best way to share Jesus with the world and to show us the perfect evangelism tools too! We must not let 'shyness' or 'political correctness' stop us from letting our light shine.

by Yewande Erinle.

Notes

I try to think of why things ended
Seeking for closure in every flash back,
So my heart can move on.

Although it seemed so clear then, why we could never work
I hide my hurt behind my smile and my I-don’t –care attitude that acts like a wall separating me from you.
So that when I see you I can hug you like we’re still friends and what we had didn’t mean a thing. But not too long though, so my actions line up with my words showing I’ve let you go.

So I remind myself of why things ended.
Cause I was too damaged to absorb your words
Too independent to accept any assistance
Too self righteous to admit I could be wrong
To proud to apologise to be anything less than me

I had to be all sufficient or content, not allowing anyone to think they owned a strand on my head talk less of my heart.
I loved you only when you were in my will
I never lost a fight so we had the appearance of compatibility

I had a deficit in my emotion tank, so thank God for technological advancement.
Now you can take a picture or recording of me at my best, to enable you play me back to the good old days.

©SweetestRuby 2012

My interpretation of Love

I don’t know what to tell you, because it seems like words are overrated these days.

I guess because it’s the IT age, everyone seems to be talking, chatting, twittering, messaging, texting but no one is listening.

A man is valued by what he says, and later condemned by the words of another.

So let me make myself clear and I hope you listen.

So am done. Done holding on to your every word.

Clinging on to breath for air, not realising the breath you breathe is toxic CO2 hazardous to my lungs.

Am done looking to your face for approval. ‘Oh how can I please you more?’ Please, please yourself, those are thoughts of the past.

Am liberated from those thoughts which kept me bound with chains of my own ignorance.

Am done believing you like you are the gospel.

Just because you say you love me, then it must be true right?

Not fully understanding what love should feel like, but trusting that you did.

Not knowing you hadn’t a clue what the word ever meant, but taking your cue from the fools before you.

Others like me have degraded words into sounds without meaning.

Into mere slangs like ‘LOL’, ‘totally’, ‘right’, ‘yeah’, ‘I love you’ ... ‘you know what I mean?’

Well no, I don’t know what you mean, cause you don’t mean what you say.

Love should enlighten, but I was lost in the dark.

Love is patient and kind, more word you’re unfamiliar with.

It doesn’t envy or boast, but your’s had jealousy and free guilt trips as side effects.

Love puts others first independent of gender.

It isn’t easily angered, so don’t step up to me saying the reason you boil up easily is because I put you on hot coals.

I won’t stick around for ‘True Lies’ the sequel, for I am attracted to the Truth, the way , the life.

Lastly, love keeps no records of wrongs.

So I will spit you out like a cold cup of bitter coffee allowing you to wash away like dirt on yesterdays laundry.

Letting go of your sweet empty words, and holding on to Him who loved me before my birth, then  gave up His life in order to save mine and now intercedes for me 24/7.

So, if you think you love me, you better be able to match HIS, otherwise just Shut Up!


©SweetestRuby 2012

Farewell Song

So you sang me a song to relay how you felt,

If I say I wasn’t surprised, then I’d tell you a lie.

Left your song on repeat, just to make out some sense,

Thinking why you had to come just to leave me in the lurch.

I haven’t moved an inch, I’m still standing here,

You knew where I was right from the very start.

Now you’re gone and I can’t help missing you.  

But if you asked if I did, you know I’d definitely lie.

I find myself looking out into the streets,

Thinking maybe I’ll spot you and wave like it’s all a big surprise.

Passing through the places you like, doing all the things you did,

Looking at my phone once, twice, fives time a minute.

Just in case I missed u seeing me pass by.

But now I’ve come to realise, that you’re not coming back.

And no I can’t change me, so I accept my fate.

You were never meant to last a day longer than you did.

And am grateful for the little time we spent,

You taught me a lot in such a little space of time.

I didn’t always treat you fair, but I always cared.

I guess that what makes us all the people that we are today.

Maybe one day I’ll see you or maybe I never will.

I pray whatever we do we’ll live happy fulfilled lives.

And when we both grow old we’ll tell the story of our youth.  

©SweetestRuby 2011

Tick Tock

Counting down the seconds till you’re gone,

So I can say hello to tomorrow

You can’t stay, no not with me.

I won’t be your fool a day too long

Am moving on with the hands of time,

I can’t be wound, am forward bound.

If you see me clearly now, better take a picture,

Because the time is fast approaching when even binoculars won’t offer u a glimpse.

Am here right now but not forever,

I’ve got greater hand pulling me higher.

I know Big guys,

Can you imagine he who can spin the Milky Way on his finger

Who can quash the earth because it’s his footstool?

Who is, was and will never change...

Now imagine, am the apple of his eye.

I wouldn’t try to piss me off

And you devils don’t like me because am a fighter,

The feeling is more than mutual because its a hater.

Am holding on to the promise,

Am linked on more tightly than the skinniest jeans.

And you can take it from me,

You can’t break me, because you didn’t make me.

Tick, tick, tick... Your time is up. Now get out.




©SweetestRuby 2011

I Was Here

I’ve got to make my mark!

To show my difference, affect the world around me,

To cause a change, because the Almighty changer is in me.

I don’t conform to society’s standards, no, am not on that level.

I’m alien, a higher breed. I can’t fit in, I wasn’t made to.

Am outstanding, made to shine bright.

I don’t follow the blind, I live for the Light.

Share some love, give someone life and live right

So at the end, it’ll be obvious I was here.

Use your skills to make the world better.

The journey of a thousand miles starts with a step,

Building skyscrapers starts with a single brick,

Nothing is impossible, if you can see beyond the visible.

So I’ll take my step in faith never looking back.

This type of life His vision I mustn’t lack.

I’ll keep P.U.S.H.ing* loving God and all around.

So when my time is up, and the race is done,

The world would be better off because I Was Here.

Leave your mark. Make a difference. Less talk, more Action.

(*P.U.S.H – pray until something happens)




©SweetestRuby 2011

Shouting out for Freedom

I see you shouting out for freedom

Your veins protruding from your neck, as one in violent labour.
Yet it seems so distant it can barely be heard
Like a whisper in a rave.
You sold yourself to slavery,
Paid a man to take your soul.
Now you’re empty left alone, crippled with only your voice
All that you’ve ever needed.

 I hear you shouting out for freedom

it seems am the only one who does.
The chains it seems are out of fashion,
But you bound yourself up all by yourself,
And now your jewellery has made you its home.
Slowly all was striped from you even though you offered it anyway.
But we could never change what was meant to be,
We never had the power to.
The courses and collisions en route was meant as preparation,
We’re living in the dark, it’s how we’ve lived since birth,  
Blinded but still looking for a way out, bound down but hoping to step forward

I feel you shouting out for freedom

Your screams vibrating through my very being,
Causing my own thoughts to shudder.
If you’ve never known light, you’d think darkness is right
But in the dark no one can see you to help you
Ignorance leads to destruction and knowledge to freedom
Find the truth and it shall set you free.



©SweetestRuby 2011